What happens to the kids when the parents fail to live on together as a family? Well, the impacts can be adverse and severe depending on the kind of sensibility shown towards the kids by both partners. In order to let the kids still feel secure and not get affected by the rift created by the parents, it is important to choose a path that helps the children feel safe, secure, and mentally healthy. This can be done through cooperative co-parenting.
In this type of parenting, both the parents try to act wisely and establish a healthy relationship with their kids without bringing in their personal grief or resentment. Both the partners try to help each other as parents to make their children feel less worried or stressed. Choosing cooperative co-parenting is the way to go for a couple that never married or separated after the divorce. How can you make this kind of parenting work for your family?
Allow The Child To Cherish Both Parents Individually
No matter how grieving your relationship with your former partner has been, it is extremely unwise to separate a child from a caring parent. Each parent must adopt a better way and let the child cherish both the parents at their turn. Each of the parents must make sure that they do not deprive the children of any of the parents’ time and companionship. Schedule parenting time at regular intervals and try to encourage your child to be excited for quality time with the other parent. This way, both parents will support the child’s health and tends to reduce the development of resentment or ill-feeling towards a parent.
Discuss Or Argue In Private
One of the things that goes wrong after a relationship is that parents simply brush away the fact that their arguments must not be exposed in front of their kids. Many parents, unfortunately, fight and argue within earshot of their kids without realizing the fact that the child’s mind is absorbing the toxicity and pain. The tiny mind of the child fails to understand why the parents could be arguing and thus he or she starts blaming himself or herself for the rift. So, make sure that whenever there is an issue, you and your co parent sit in private and discuss the areas of concern in a civil and logical way.
Never Make Your Child Your Confidante
Some partners do not understand that when they share their grievances with a poor child, they actually damage his or her ability to care for the other parent. It is never necessary to divulge the difficulties in your parenting relationship to your child, no matter how old they are. It is not your child’s responsibility to consider the challenges of scheduling, joint custody, and child support. Instead, make it a rule to never share your grief or frustration with your child by making him or her confidant.
Always Speak Well Of Your Partner Before Your Kid
Alternatively, if you choose to speak well of your partner before your kids despite your personal differences, you will imbue positivity and hope into the child’s mind. If you think about it more closely, when you malign the parent you malign the child as well. A positive communication pattern leads to a healthy child with minimal emotional damage from the stress of parental separation. So, no matter how upset you may feel, always choose better words whenever you have to discuss your co-parent.
Understand That Parenting Is Still Done By Both Of You
Another issue that poses a problem for kids is when they see you considering yourself as the sole parent. Amidst your battle, you forget that your ex-partner is also going through this same difficult experience and they are also doing their parenting. Remember no matter how broken you feel, you are still co-parenting and not shouldering the whole responsibility alone. So, be thankful about it and give due credit to the other parent.
Value The Co-parent In Decision Making
Of course, cooperative co-parenting is a life-long responsibility and it needs to be done with utmost consistency and respect. When the kids grow up and more decisions arise, make sure to involve your co-parent and make a healthy decision via open and cordial discussion. While making any parenting choices, value your partner’s viewpoint and sort out the best way to help your child grow and thrive.
Allow The Child To Cherish Both Parents Individually
No matter how grieving your relationship with your former partner has been, it is extremely unwise to separate a child from a caring parent. Each parent must adopt a better way and let the child cherish both the parents at their turn. Each of the parents must make sure that they do not deprive the children of any of the parents’ time and companionship. Schedule parenting time at regular intervals and try to encourage your child to be excited for quality time with the other parent. This way, both parents will support the child’s health and tends to reduce the development of resentment or ill-feeling towards a parent.
Discuss Or Argue In Private
One of the things that goes wrong after a relationship is that parents simply brush away the fact that their arguments must not be exposed in front of their kids. Many parents, unfortunately, fight and argue within earshot of their kids without realizing the fact that the child’s mind is absorbing the toxicity and pain. The tiny mind of the child fails to understand why the parents could be arguing and thus he or she starts blaming himself or herself for the rift. So, make sure that whenever there is an issue, you and your co parent sit in private and discuss the areas of concern in a civil and logical way.
Never Make Your Child Your Confidante
Some partners do not understand that when they share their grievances with a poor child, they actually damage his or her ability to care for the other parent. It is never necessary to divulge the difficulties in your parenting relationship to your child, no matter how old they are. It is not your child’s responsibility to consider the challenges of scheduling, joint custody, and child support. Instead, make it a rule to never share your grief or frustration with your child by making him or her confidant.
Always Speak Well Of Your Partner Before Your Kid
Alternatively, if you choose to speak well of your partner before your kids despite your personal differences, you will imbue positivity and hope into the child’s mind. If you think about it more closely, when you malign the parent you malign the child as well. A positive communication pattern leads to a healthy child with minimal emotional damage from the stress of parental separation. So, no matter how upset you may feel, always choose better words whenever you have to discuss your co-parent.
Understand That Parenting Is Still Done By Both Of You
Another issue that poses a problem for kids is when they see you considering yourself as the sole parent. Amidst your battle, you forget that your ex-partner is also going through this same difficult experience and they are also doing their parenting. Remember no matter how broken you feel, you are still co-parenting and not shouldering the whole responsibility alone. So, be thankful about it and give due credit to the other parent.
Value The Co-parent In Decision Making
Of course, cooperative co-parenting is a life-long responsibility and it needs to be done with utmost consistency and respect. When the kids grow up and more decisions arise, make sure to involve your co-parent and make a healthy decision via open and cordial discussion. While making any parenting choices, value your partner’s viewpoint and sort out the best way to help your child grow and thrive.
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