When your partner is facing addiction, your support can be very important in the recovery process. A strong relationship helps the person through the recovery and consistently leads to better outcomes (Kelly et al., 2010). However, it is necessary to differentiate between supporting and enabling, as the latter can be problematic.
What is enabling? It refers to a set of behaviors that allow the person with addiction to keep using or to avoid assuming the consequences for their actions. Enabling can be easier on the short-term, but on the long-term, it can lead to negative outcomes. However, it is not always easy to see whether one’s behavior is supportive or is enabling.
The key difference lies in two elements. The first is whether you need to justify and make excuses for the behavior you are supporting. There is no need to excuse positive behaviors. The second difference is associated with yourself. Enabling means ignoring your own needs, desires, and emotions. Often, it means that you allow the person with addiction to do something at your expense or at the expense of your family.
A mental health professional and a support group for yourself can help you differentiate between the two further. Giving your partner the support they need can be much easier if you also take care of yourself.
References
Kelly, S. M., O'Grady, K. E., Schwartz, R. P., Peterson, J. A., Wilson, M. E., & Brown, B. S. (2010). The relationship of social support to treatment entry and engagement: The Community Assessment Inventory. Substance abuse, 31(1), 43-52.. https://doi.org/10.1080/08897070903442640
The key difference lies in two elements. The first is whether you need to justify and make excuses for the behavior you are supporting. There is no need to excuse positive behaviors. The second difference is associated with yourself. Enabling means ignoring your own needs, desires, and emotions. Often, it means that you allow the person with addiction to do something at your expense or at the expense of your family.
A mental health professional and a support group for yourself can help you differentiate between the two further. Giving your partner the support they need can be much easier if you also take care of yourself.
References
Kelly, S. M., O'Grady, K. E., Schwartz, R. P., Peterson, J. A., Wilson, M. E., & Brown, B. S. (2010). The relationship of social support to treatment entry and engagement: The Community Assessment Inventory. Substance abuse, 31(1), 43-52.. https://doi.org/10.1080/08897070903442640
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