We grow up hearing that parenting is tough but being a single parent makes the journey all the more challenging. It’s not because it’s uncanny but because it comes with its own unique set of challenges and without understanding those roadblocks, one cannot be or help a single parent learn the right coping mechanisms and skills to make the journey of single parenthood worthwhile and jubilant. Most don't choose to be a single parent but when circumstances go south, one is left with no other choice than being a steadfast parent given their kids' needs. Be it an outcome of a divorce, a spouse’s death, or conflict; no one can deny the hurdles and trials a single parent faces on the way. So, what are some of the parenting challenges that are specific to single parents?
THE IMMEDIATE FEELING OF LOSS AND ISOLATION
As mentioned earlier, losing a life partner for any reason be it conflict or death is itself a huge blow for the one left behind. Once you are single again and have to shoulder the responsibilities of both parents for your kids, the realization itself is excruciating not because you cannot do it but because it will be so taxing. You will feel all your energy sapped because of the immediate feeling of hollowness in your life. When you return home from work, you come back to your kids but your partner won’t be there to welcome and support you, discuss the issues of home and finances with you or lend you his or her shoulder to lean on.
As a parent, understand that these feelings are natural and completely normal and that you must let this phase pass by itself. Work on sifting through all your negative thoughts and try some breathing exercises to calm yourself down. Talk to kids about the change when you are in a healthier state of mind. Tell them about your feelings too so that they may give you some healthy space to process the change. Most importantly, do not shy away from getting all the support needed even from a professional therapist if needed.
COMBATING GUILT AND RESENTMENT
Sometimes, single parenting can make you feel inadequate and put you in a state of guilt and resentment. This usually happens after a while and may aggravate if you do not process it healthily. When faced with such emotions, you need to talk to a trusted friend, or family member or pen your feelings in your diary or journal. There is a great chance that you’ll see positivity emitting from your listener or your writing which will make you see how important it is for you to stay grounded and steadfast. This intrinsic energy will propel you in the right direction and you’ll come out stronger than before.
HOLISTIC GROOMING OF THE CHILDREN
One of the major concerns for any couple is the holistic development and upbringing of their kids. However, when on the path to single parenthood, this concern grows manifold and may even start haunting you. As natural as it is, this holistic grooming of kids is certainly concerning and needs an incredible amount of energy and consistency to make the results happen. Be it their physical growth, mental health, or character building, the single parent remains apprehensive too. However, with the right set of skills and approaches, this concern can be dealt with smartly.
FINANCIAL CONCERNS AND AGGRAVATED ANXIETY
Undoubtedly finances become a huge roadblock for a single parent as, without the support of the other half, the complete burden falls on the shoulders of the one left with the kids. This becomes particularly agonizing and challenging when the male spouse passes away and the female has to support and sustain the household. This very concern paves the way for anxiety that shoots and puts the single parent off the balance.
DEALING WITH THE QUESTIONS/ COMPARISONS OF KIDS
Quite connected to the point of holistic grooming of kids, one of the primary concerns for a single parent is when their kids start questioning them about the way they are as a family. Although a family with a single parent, too, is a complete family yet when kids go out, socialize and see how others have a complete family in terms of having both parents, they do question, compare and resent. Now, dealing with this stage where kids are sapped of their energy is very crucial as it needs a huge amount of strength from the single parent who has to sit the kids, educate and strengthen them.
THE FINAL THOUGHT
Well, in a nutshell, it can be seen that single parenting is certainly not easy but worth it. If the challenges are doubled, the rewards and joys are doubled too. However, it sure is easier said than done but if you are one of the single parents and feel like crumbling down, seek family therapy which can help you overcome the challenges better, and have a happy home with kids cherishing you and their single family.
As mentioned earlier, losing a life partner for any reason be it conflict or death is itself a huge blow for the one left behind. Once you are single again and have to shoulder the responsibilities of both parents for your kids, the realization itself is excruciating not because you cannot do it but because it will be so taxing. You will feel all your energy sapped because of the immediate feeling of hollowness in your life. When you return home from work, you come back to your kids but your partner won’t be there to welcome and support you, discuss the issues of home and finances with you or lend you his or her shoulder to lean on.
As a parent, understand that these feelings are natural and completely normal and that you must let this phase pass by itself. Work on sifting through all your negative thoughts and try some breathing exercises to calm yourself down. Talk to kids about the change when you are in a healthier state of mind. Tell them about your feelings too so that they may give you some healthy space to process the change. Most importantly, do not shy away from getting all the support needed even from a professional therapist if needed.
COMBATING GUILT AND RESENTMENT
Sometimes, single parenting can make you feel inadequate and put you in a state of guilt and resentment. This usually happens after a while and may aggravate if you do not process it healthily. When faced with such emotions, you need to talk to a trusted friend, or family member or pen your feelings in your diary or journal. There is a great chance that you’ll see positivity emitting from your listener or your writing which will make you see how important it is for you to stay grounded and steadfast. This intrinsic energy will propel you in the right direction and you’ll come out stronger than before.
HOLISTIC GROOMING OF THE CHILDREN
One of the major concerns for any couple is the holistic development and upbringing of their kids. However, when on the path to single parenthood, this concern grows manifold and may even start haunting you. As natural as it is, this holistic grooming of kids is certainly concerning and needs an incredible amount of energy and consistency to make the results happen. Be it their physical growth, mental health, or character building, the single parent remains apprehensive too. However, with the right set of skills and approaches, this concern can be dealt with smartly.
FINANCIAL CONCERNS AND AGGRAVATED ANXIETY
Undoubtedly finances become a huge roadblock for a single parent as, without the support of the other half, the complete burden falls on the shoulders of the one left with the kids. This becomes particularly agonizing and challenging when the male spouse passes away and the female has to support and sustain the household. This very concern paves the way for anxiety that shoots and puts the single parent off the balance.
DEALING WITH THE QUESTIONS/ COMPARISONS OF KIDS
Quite connected to the point of holistic grooming of kids, one of the primary concerns for a single parent is when their kids start questioning them about the way they are as a family. Although a family with a single parent, too, is a complete family yet when kids go out, socialize and see how others have a complete family in terms of having both parents, they do question, compare and resent. Now, dealing with this stage where kids are sapped of their energy is very crucial as it needs a huge amount of strength from the single parent who has to sit the kids, educate and strengthen them.
THE FINAL THOUGHT
Well, in a nutshell, it can be seen that single parenting is certainly not easy but worth it. If the challenges are doubled, the rewards and joys are doubled too. However, it sure is easier said than done but if you are one of the single parents and feel like crumbling down, seek family therapy which can help you overcome the challenges better, and have a happy home with kids cherishing you and their single family.
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